Eight years ago today I had open heart surgery. It was a long recovery road, and not the last of the surgeries I would have or even the worst. But it still marks a big day for me. It reminds me to be grateful of this life and makes my current problems seem small. Today I have my health (along with many blessings), what is there to complain about? And today especially, I’m always amazed and humbled by Gods grace he showed me eight years ago. I remember waking up not knowing if they had given me a pig valve and hearing they had repaired it instead (an unlikely outcome. the best outcome! the outcome that would let me have babies without complications… one day). I can still remember JB coming into visit me in the ICU; I was fuzzy headed, chest tubes and a catheter in… you know all the ways you want the boyfriend you hope would become your husband one day to see you. But I didn’t see even a hint of disgust in his eyes, only compassion and love. Same is said for my family and close friends. The people that stood by, prayed for and showered me with kindness during that difficult time could never be forgotten. I’ve written before about how I honestly feel lucky to have had this happen to me. I was 24 at the time, with little life experience, and nothing truly tough had ever happened to me. That experience gave me so much appreciation for life, for family, for friends, for health. It gave me perspective, compassion for those hurting and new eyes to see them. At the time did I feel lucky? not exactly. But I did trust in Gods plan for me. A couple months later I took the GRE, applied to grad school, got a full ride, and was off to another state to get my masters. As part of my scholarship I had my assistantship where I worked in the cardiac unit. I was in charge of educating patients who were about to have heart surgery themselves and assisting in cardiac rehab. Now if that isn’t God using something seemingly awful for His good I’m not sure what is. I was able to offer real hope to people facing something daunting. Don’t we all want someone to say, when we are hurting, when we’re scared – I have been there. And I’m on the other side and it’s good. When you are in the thick of it all, whatever it is – heartbreak, illness, depression, a death… it can feel impossible for that to be true. I know God sends people into our lives to be a living example of hope. I know he has sent people like that for me time and time again, and I’m grateful if I’m ever that person for someone else. I don’t have the same opportunity these days to tell people every day about the way God healed me some eight years ago, but I can tell you. God is good and he is creating a crown of beauty out of ashes. I know that to be true, because I’ve been there.
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory. – Isaiah 61:3
