Since Sunday is Wesley’s birthday, I’ve had it on my mind and heart about going from one to two, and I wanted to share with you!  You may remember how intense I was about preparing Tuck for a sibling.  I pretty much checked out at the library or bought every known book about a new baby for Tuck.  I researched, prayed, and worried my head off.  I wondered if I could ever love the second baby as much as I did my first.  Now I realize how completely silly that thought is.  It’s true what they say; love just grows.  Your hearts capacity to love beyond a point you previously thought impossible just multiplies.  It’s magic (;  it’s a glimpse inside Gods heart and the unconditional and unending love He has for all of us.  The day Wesley was born was truly the best day of my life.  An easy labor (I thought that wasn’t a real thing), meeting precious Wesley, and becoming a family of four … it was an incredible day, and I was an emotional wreck from it all- in the best way imaginable.
I know so many people wonder what it’s like, going from one to two.  I realize it’s different for everyone but going from zero to one was a lot harder on me than going from one to two.  Though it had its own ups and downs!  I wanted to share those thoughts with you.  And also share what helped us with the transition.

Neither of us get as much downtime as we once did with just one which is no shocker there.   But that is definitely more true for JB than me.  I was used to taking care of Tuck the majority of the time, and he has major mom-itis, so having a child needing me all the time was just the norm, and with two, the weight of that need is shifted to both JB and I.

One of the hardest challenges we’ve had is bed time.  I always used to put Tuck down, or we would do it together.  That became JBs responsibility.  That was a tough transition for Tuck.  He still wants me to put him down.  Now that Wesley is older I can do it from time to time.  If I could go back in time I would probably have started JB putting him down a couple months before Wesley was born.

One of the hardest things for me, personally, was feeling in the beginning like I was losing the bond I had with Tuck.  The upside?  JB and Tucks relationship grew so much.  Not that they weren’t close before but now he was seeing and doing different things with Tuck, and seeing different sides.  They had swim and soccer classes together, and it gave Tuck the one on one time that was so important in the first few months of wesleys life, while I had a quiet-ish house with just Wes.  Now, a year later, I can tell you that my feelings of losing the bond with my first born were really just my post partum emotions getting the best of me.

Of course I was worried about how the two would get along!  But most of that worrying (like most worrying in general) was for not.  No one makes Wes laugh more than Tuck.  Wes just loves toddling around after his brother.  And Tuck is a 200% extrovert, so he loves the constant company.  I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had to discipline Tuck where his treatment of his brother is concerned.  Which I think is less anything we did and more a testament to the little person he is.
A couple things we did/do to keep their relationship strong —

•  I started getting a tiny treat on the day grandma has tuck -something from the one spot at target usually.  When wes was little I would put it with Wes on his bouncer and say look what wes got you!  Now that Tuck is in school two mornings a week, I will occasionally pick something up and have it in his carseat when we pick Tuck up.  I tell him, wes got you a surprise!  It can be a sticker, and he is all like “wow wes!  thanks wes!”.  ha.  
• Plenty of books!  I think the best book has been – the first rule of little brothers – though it would only work if you are having another boy!  He still wants this read to him daily and by the time wes was here, he could quote most of it.  It does a good job of showing some frustrations he has but how to deal with them.  
• I included Tuck in a lot.  He is a helper by nature, and so asking him to get diapers, wipes, etc., was, I think, a little empowering for him.  

I had never had a babysitter outside of either of our parents, until a few months after Wesley was born.  I met a girl working at a smoothie shop on a play date, and both the other mother and I were impressed with how patient she was with our kids.  I got her number and tried her out.  She showed up with a christian bumper sticker (what 19 year old has one of those!  this lamb!), and it turned out we had a couple mutual friends.  She’s been so good and truly loves the boys.  Though we only get her once or twice a month, it’s great to have someone we trust outside of family to watch the kids.  So if you are like me and very hesitant of having anyone watch your kids, I get it totally.  But with two we knew it was a lot to always ask our parents, and it’s always so good to just be the two of us again.  {{though we are always talking about the kids while away! haha}}  We also joined the country club (thanks to ours having a very affordable rate if you are under 40), which has been great for JB and I.  They have a free sitter there wednesday thru saturday evenings – which I wish I would have known about sooner, because I think we would have joined when Tuck was born, as it is well worth the dues.  The kids and I love the sitter there and I love that they are right down the hall should anything come up.  We get in more date nights now than we did when we just had one, which I am so grateful for.

So many things overwhelmed me when I just had one.  Like going to the grocery store and playdates!  What if he screamed and everyone thought I was a terrible mother?  What if he didn’t share?  Which is more like a when than an if.  With two, and with the help and guidance of my wonderful friends who are also mothers, I feel more confident going anywhere with two than I did with just one.  Maybe that has a lot to do with Wesleys go with the flow (all the praise hands) nature!

Every day with two (or with one, or five I would imagine!) is not near perfect, some days my patience is no where in sight, but life is still good on those days!  And on the toughest of days, I’m so so glad Wes is here.