This was something y’all wanted a follow up post on.  The old post is better for fostering that closeness when you bring home a baby to your older child.  I am no parenting expert, by any stretch.  There are a lot of days I feel defeated.  Writing this post doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing.  But I always love to hear what other people do.  And here are a few things we do to keep their relationship strong and how we bounce back when they are about to deck the other one.

It’s helpful to know that siblings fight on average of 3.5 times an hour, that’s about every ten minutes.  So it’s normal!  You’re not going crazy and you don’t have bad kids (there are no bad kids!).  They are learning – to share, to care about someone other than themselves, to let their opinion be known.  The other side of this is endless play, team work, and getting lost in their imaginations together.  My day is always made when I spy them in the backyard digging in the dirt or all of their toys lined up for some common goal they share.

So here’s a few things I do when things get hairy / conflict resolution for preschoolers! :

•  They have always had to look each other in the eye when they mess up to say sorry.  And you better, sure as sugar, be truly sorry.
• When we are out and about with only one, and that one gets a sucker or a treat, we know to bring something back for our brother.  We have done this since we were little, and now they remind me.  It’s always so cute and surprising to me that they remember and actually save the piece of candy or treat for their brother.
• One of my favorite things to watch play out when they are really ticked at each other is the 20 second hug.  I make them hug after sorries for 20 seconds, and I don’t think it’s ever not ended in laughter.  This is a good trick for marriage too (:
• Other than a few minutes away from each other, I don’t separate them.  A few minutes later, and they are over whatever IT was, and are back to playing together.
• I have to be a good example for them.  I have to apologize and ask for forgiveness when I mess up.  Get on their level, say my sorries, and look them square in the eye sincerely asking for forgiveness.
• When they are wrestling a bit and I foresee there will eventually be tears – I try NOT to say “no!! get off your brother!”  instead I try to say something like …  “well this looks so fun!  but who wants to get hurt!  raise your hand.”  sommmetimes this works to calm them down.
• Read books that foster empathy, show Gods love, and teach kids how they can be kind.

Anyway, I know none of this is groundbreaking!  but it’s been a requested post, and I wanted to get it out to y’all.

What other things do you do to foster that sweet sibling relationship that hopefully is lifelong?!